Apologies
by vee23
Summary: Spock seriously embarrassed Kirk and now he needs to make amends. Mildly graphic language.


~*~

He tilted his head to the side and considered the problem at hand. Of course the simplest course of action would be to just let it alone, allow things to resolve themselves. Surely in due time it would eventually fade from everyone's minds and things would return to normal. But for some reason the thought of sitting idly by bothered him. Immensely, actually. The Vulcan felt compelled to do something, anything in his power, to calm his Captain. But the personal reasons behind this compulsion troubled him. Was it emotion that drove him to this plan? Surely not. Ever since he'd almost killed Kirk on the bridge he'd been very careful to keep strict control over himself, even though that had been some time ago. Or was it simply the logic that a happy Captain made a happy ship? Hadn't he heard that somewhere before...? Perhaps not in that context...

He shook his head slightly, trying to keep his mind from flying off on a tangent, as it had been doing as of late. Then again, happiness... It was only an emotion, a state of mental being. It was surely overrated, yes? _No_. It was important, as most of the life forms aboard the Enterprise were human. They were governed by their feelings. Emotions were imperative to their kind and they needed to be positive. Negative emotions among the crew could lead to something disastrous in the worse case scenario. An impaired decision, hasty judgement... anything could happen with beings as unsound as humans. He wish he knew what had angered his Captain, at the very least. But he was flying blind. He could see no avoiding it in any case. It had to be done, lest it drag on longer.

So Spock took a deep breath and raised his fist to knock on the Captian's door.

~*~

Kirk was sitting on the side of his bed, staring out the large window that made up a majority of the rear wall of his quarters. The stars flew by and he watched without really seeing them. That.... was fucked up. How Spock could do that, especially in mixed company, and then not even be embarrassed! He'd not known what it meant or he'd never have...! Normally James Tiberius Kirk was a man of little modesty; he'd announce his sex life on the PA system if he felt like it. But that was just...

The only thing he could think of was to play it off. They all went along with him, at least his crew members did, but he wasn't stupid. Their thoughts had been written all over their faces. To make matters worse Sarek had been standing right there. The look in the ambassadors' eyes... For some reason, it really irked him. It was almost like disgust, the way Sarek had glanced at them. Oh, had he wanted to punch that old Vulcan dust bag in the face. But he couldn't, of course. That would have been quite bad. Just lost his planet, right? Jim had to be understanding, even if it was a year and some change ago. But he felt like an angsty little kid now. He wasn't being angsty though... He had good reason to be angry at his First Officer, right?

A knock at the door interrupted his musing. He rolled his shoulders, stiff from sitting still so long, and moved to his desk chair, swivilng it to face the door before saying,

"Come on in."

But when the doors slid apart, he'd wished he'd not said anything. For there stood the object of his anger, clad in his blue shirt and blank expression. Spock walked into the room, the doors shutting quietly behind him, and stood just inside. He was staring at Jim unnecessarily hard, as if he was having some inner debate.

"What?" Kirk demanded.

"I..." Spock's speech quickly trailed off and he looked around the room, as if to distract himself.

"_What?_" He asked again, more forcefully than before, which in itself was quite a feat since he had made sure to sound annoyed in the first place. "I don't have all day."

"With all due respect, Captain, it seems that you do since you insist on holing up in your quarters for hours at a time and leaving me in charge of the ship that is rightfully yours." Spock's face was still completely void, betraying nothing, and his voice was just as empty.

Kirk felt himself getting angry. Had he come here to insult him? To piss him off? Well if he had it was working. "Get out of my sight."

"Please, you misunderstand," Spock leaned forward slightly, like he wanted to move toward Kirk. "I simply came here to ask you to return to duty. I do not take pleasure in running the Enterprise."

"Well I'm busy holing myself up right now." He turned his chair away, back toward the window. "Come back when something's attacking us."

"Captain, I came here to ask you to retun to duty," He repeated. For the first time since entering the room, the Vulcan's voice had some emotion. It was very slight, but he sounded almost pissed.

It pleased Kirk to hear that he was getting a rise out of him.

"Well like I said, I'm busy."

"Stop conducting yourself as if you were a child." Yep, he was pissed.

"Unless you've come here to apologize you can just go," Kirk smiled to himself. He knew how to push Spock's buttons, and he really wanted to right now, even if it resulted in a fight. He needed to poke some fun back at him.

"Apologize? Why would I apologize? I've done nothing wrong." And he hadn't, at least not to his knowledge.

"Oh, haven't you?" The Captain swiveled in his chair to face Spock again, leaning forward so that his elbows rested on his knees. "Normally, I'm a man with very flexible limits. I don't get embarrassed easily. But you embarrassed me today."

"Did I?"

"Yes. In front of your father."

There was a very brief silence.

"This is about what happened on the bridge this morning." Spock's eyes widened slightly as he fit the last piece of the puzzle into place. He hadn't thought anything of it at the time. Even afterward, when Kirk got angry, he hadn't connected it to the events of that morning. It had been to long after the fact to really associate the event to Kirk's temper. He simply thought that something else had been building in the human's mind, pressing down on his psyche and causing him to suddenly snap. Passive-aggressive. But thinking on it now, that wasn't Kirk's style at all.

"The great genius figures it out at last." Jim leaned back in his chair now.

"I... I'm sorry, I don't understand why you took offense." And he honestly didn't.

"I had no idea that what you'd been doing was what it was." Kirk stood, pissed off himself now as he relived the moment in his mind. Moments... No, the moment that morning, not all the others. Just that one specifically. "I thought it was a secret handshake or something! Not... _that_!" A really weird, girly, not-so-handshake-y handshake.

"I have no need for a secret handshake, and I also assumed that you were aware of what the gesture meant." He tilted his head.

"Are you fucking with me, Spock?" He marched forward a few steps, so that he was standing just a foot or so from his First Officer, and narrowed his eyes.

"Of course not. That implies that we would be engaging in---"

"I didn't mean it literally, jeez." Kirk cut him off before he could finish. "If I had known I would never have--"

"Wouldn't you? You can't lie to me, Captain." Spock's eyes suddenly softened and he smiled slightly. At least, Jim thought it was a smile. His mouth curved upward at any rate. "Whenever I do that, our minds brush. You've felt it and I know that you have; I see it in your eyes more often than not. During that brief moment when our minds are touching, I can feel your emotions and hear your thoughts, as you undoubtedly can do to me."

This was true. He'd heard thoughts that weren't his and remembered things that never happened to him. And certain emotions were stronger than others... But Kirk had thought this was just delirium. After all, Bones had him on a lot of pain meds a lot of the time, on top of all the pressures of being a Captain, not that he didn't love them.

"And I know you don't resent me, as you appear to do."

Kirk frowned. "Why do you do it?"

"I assumed in human courtship that when attraction is mutual between two parties, advancement is natural and nothing to be ashamed of. I was..." he paused. "'making the first move.'"

Well that was surprising. Kirk looked down at his hand, and flinched slightly when Spock's gently landed on it. He felt the fringe of his mind brush against the other man's, feather soft. But he got no memories or thoughts. Just emotion, and very few at that. Remorse, adoration, possessiveness, loyalty. His gaze moved back up to Spock's, instantly being consumed by all the pent-up emotions that lay barely restrained beneath those dark, piercing eyes. All the emotions that he was holding back from letting his Captain feel as their minds touched were in his eyes, easily visible and swirling. Spock's hand slid slowly back until just the tips of his middle and index fingers rested on Jim's; the Vulcan kiss. It was the gesture that he had made in front of his father, and what had embarrassed Kirk.

"To do this in front of my father took great courage, and though I pride myself on my self-control, I admit that I was... frightened." Spock said quietly, allowing his hand to drop.

Kirk felt their minds separate.

"But perhaps I misread your emotions. No longer will I attempt to make advances on you. I apologize for my actions this morning and take full responsibility for them. Now if you will excuse me I must go explain to my father." The Vulcan turned to leave.

"Wait." Kirk reached out, as if to touch Spock's shoulder, but stopped himself. With great difficulty, for some reason.

"Yes, Captain?" He paused, glancing over his shoulder.

"Uh..." He felt himself floundering for the words. "You... you don't have to do that. Any of that."

"Captain?" He faced him more fully.

"What I mean to say is... that..." Damn, this was difficult. "Well, I guess I... kinda like the attention. So, you don't really have to stop."

Spock felt himself about to smile. He wasn't being rejected anymore. At least this discussion seemed to be headed that way. "What exactly are you saying?"

"I'm saying that... You _didn't_misread my emotions. At least I think you didn't. I don't even really have them sorted out yet... Ya know, with all this stuff going on and everything I guess I just need a bit more time to sort shit out." He scratched his head. "But that doesn't mean that I mind it if we do this." At this he held out his hand, as if to shake, but with only his first two fingers outstretched.

Spock did smile now. He touched his first two fingers to Kirk's and tilted his head. Happiness seemed to flow from his very core, pouring over into Jim's mind as it floated nearer to his own. The act was now consenual, although before he had thought the same of it. But now he was sure. He was so busy reveling in his joy that he didn't notice Kirk until the Captain's lips were pressed lightly against his own. The Vulcan gasped in surprise, but didn't draw back. The human lingered only for a moment before pulling away.

"And that's how we kiss on Earth." Kirk said, smiling.

"Interesting. I think I will have to research this further." Spock teased, his ears twitching in amusement. He wondered if his cheeks were tinged green, as Kirk's were just very slightly pink. Just barely. It was... cute, was the word. Strange, that he'd just used the word cute to describe a fully grown man.

Kirk just clapped Spock on the arm, as he had right after they first met, and shoved him toward the door. "Aren't you supposed to be on duty, First Officer Spock?"

"My apologies, Captain. I will return to the bridge right away."

"Right behind you."

* * *

**I do not in any way own or have rights to Spock or Kirk or Star Trek.**

**Review if you think it didn't totally suck. Or if you did. It's all cool. **

**Just a quick thing cuz I was bored.**

**A/N: My sister wrote this, but is too lazy to get her own username, so she's posting it on my page. :**/

**CB**


End file.
